So sad...

I anticipated this week would be terrible. I've been pretty depressed up to this day. I've been trying to focus and stay strong but I can't help it. It's been one year since I learned that my little one has went to heaven. It's been so hard. There hasn't been a time where I don't think about it or what it's been like to feel that loss.

I have faith that God will provide. I have faith that my Lord knows why. I trust that God will see us through this. As much as I say it, I hope I can eventually truly feel it. I know it takes time to heal but... if only.... it's so hard.

On the same day of my surgery, it was also the same day my grandfather passed away 4 years ago. I just keep thinking that he was there to greet my little one and hold her too. My grandfather adored babies and loved children very much. I know he is with her now and they are together in heaven watching over us. One day we will all be together again. Until then... I miss them very, very, very much.